Talk about strange dreams…

I was searching desperately for a place to dine. My stomach had been sending out hunger pang notices for several hours. I’d wandered about the strange town but had found nothing resembling either a hostel or public house.

Finally, at the far edge of town I observed a building with a sign outside above the door that read ‘The Throne Room’.  The architecture reminded me of an Alpine Schlösser. I absently noted the brass plaque affixed to the door that read ‘Closed for Lunch’. It was nearly dinnertime, so I ignored it and reached for the door latch.

As the door opened, someone played a trumpet fanfare, and I heard a voice saying something that sounded like ‘Count’ but I wasn’t listening, for ‘He’ stood there. The crown on his head glittered in the late afternoon sunlight, his bejeweled ermine robes resplendent. The man was beautiful beyond description.

“Welcome,” he spoke. His voice held a deep, rich vibrato that mesmerized me.

He pulled a tasseled cord. I expected a small army of servants to emerge from some hidden corner. Instead, a trumpet fanfare sounded and the purple draperies behind him slowly began to open. I held my breath.

And then gasped in disbelief.

“Welcome to Discount Ed’s,” the voice spoke. “We carry only the finest quality thrones in all the kingdoms.” He stepped up and placed a perfectly manicured hand on the top of an electric blue, ceramic throne. “The latest in power-flush technology. This baby has 40 golf ball flush power.”

I fainted.